So not feeling it today... | fyreyvixxxen's Blog

It's one of those "blah" days... where everything is just blah... There is nothing really to smile about and if I think too hard on anything, I feel as though I'll burst into tears. I know where I'm headed with this and I just hope I can make a turn-around soon because the darkness is trying to creep back in and I don't want to let it... things have been so good... I have managed to maintain an even keel for months now and I really thought I had made it that way; that somehow after all this time, I had gained some control over the darkness.

I tell myself maybe it's just the weather... it's getting so cold. Maybe it's the coming holidays...another thanksgiving/birthday/christmas ALONE... that'll bring the depression crashing back in. Maybe it's the mounting stress at work... lets take our busiest time ever and add some major system revisions during year-end, that's a great way to go about it. Maybe I'm finally in love, finally found someone I want to spend time with and I can't have him...

Eh, whatever... I'll just crank up the tunes and get back to work... all this crap in my head will sort itself out eventually. In the meantime, I need to get busy acting like nothing is wrong... not that anybody at all would notice if something was wrong.